take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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