Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
