He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
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Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
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Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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