This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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