Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
did you just send me my own nude
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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