Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
