I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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