i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
