I looked at my own cervix.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize