FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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