So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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