May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
