Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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