its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize