areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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