Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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