It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
