So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
