god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize