As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
