you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
then he tried to convert me to islam
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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