I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
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The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
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A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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