i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
