All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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