I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
