Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When did angry sex become our thing?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
