dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
