He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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