lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
