i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
