I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
