she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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