If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
