yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
