try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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