So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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