Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Randomize
