You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize