I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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