yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize