So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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