I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
