Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Congratulations! We have a period
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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