The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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