Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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