no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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