Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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