Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize