that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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