Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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