I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
