Old men and throwing up are my life now.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
