Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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