"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
