Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
