Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize